being fat and underwear...tmi alert

This may be one of those topics that you don't want to read about. I know I probably wouldn't want to but as long as I am being totally transparent about my body and how I feel about it etc, I thought I would touch on a subject that most would shy away from. Underwear. Unders. Panties. Underoos. If I was Mormon, I would call them my sacred garments or (thanks to a recent google search) my temple garments. But since I am not Mormon, I like to call them underwear or unders.

Let me just put it all out there.

 When you get fat, you buy granny panties*. You want to feel support for the roll or front butt. A thong or even bikini unders do not give a chubby woman the coverage or support she needs for her extra baggage. Bikinis pretty much cut the roll into two giving you three rolls instead of two. And a thong, good gravy, gives you no support for the hiney!  Poor Chad has to put up with my 6 pack of Hanes low rise brief cotton underwear**. At least they are low rise and don't come up to my chin!  Being fat and wearing grannies makes me feel less feminine thus making me feel less sexy. Seriously, sometimes I feel like I should have been born a dude. Not in a transgender sense but more like "It isn't going to matter anyway, so why bother." The female beauty regime can get a little overwhelming for me, to say the least. But I also know that it is because I don't feel good about myself. That I don't feel feminine. That I am fat and nothing will look good anyway. I want to change that. I am changing that. I am working through those feelings and lies.

So, I am on a quest to find more feminine/girly/sexy underwear...or panties. Even the word "panty" sounds girly. I threw caution to the wind and bought a couple pair of lacier panties at Target this week. Even having them in my dresser drawer makes me feel more like a woman. Crazy.

This transformation to fitness and health has made me realize how many aspects of my life have been effected by my weight...all the way down to my core womanhood/femininity. I am excited for the changes to come and I am excited that you are joining me in this adventure.  Thank you.





*I am sure not all fat girls buy granny panties. Someone must buy the plus size thongs and bikinis or they wouldn't be manufactured, right? But I will say that just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it.  


**For the record, Chad has never complained, commented, or otherwise about my underwear. He figures they don't stay on for long anyway when the mood strikes, so what difference does it make? HA!