the 2nd and 3rd and 4th of the 5 "W"s

What: I am not sure how to answer this. I guess that may be my first issue to deal with. *thinking* Simply put, the what is to lose weight. But I can't expound too much or it turns into a why, right?

When: Now. Well, tomorrow. That might be issue numero dos. I am the queen of procrastination. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? In all seriousness, I need to start tomorrow. I will try to get over my mini-OCDness about not starting on the first of the month.

Where: In my dungeon of a basement. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? That is where we put the ellipitcal that I bought from a friend in October. I told you I was a procrastinator. And in my kitchen where I will prepare delicious and healthy tree bark food. My mouth is watering already. And in restaurants where I will look for the * or other printed indicator that the menu option is healthier. They need to use an emoticon of either a sad face or of one sticking his tongue out in disgust. That would be a much more appropriate indicator of what you are about to eat.  This "where" has kindof turned into a "how" as well. Works for me.

the first of the 5 "W"s

Who: Me. Manda. 35 1/2 years old. A wife and mother of two. An almost middle aged woman who has battled her weight most of her life.


4th grade:  I remember being aware of my weight in fourth grade. I was in school and from my memory I was the biggest of my friends. If I look at pictures from that time I wasn't fat. But I was bigger than my friends. I was so aware of my weight that I faked an injury (a sprained ankle) to avoid participating in our school's track and field day. I didn't want to be embarrassed about coming in last in the 50 yard dash. Or to be the shortest long jump. 


Jr. high: I rode my bike a lot in those years. It kept my weight down. I was in semi okay shape. I didn't feel bad about my weight but I wasn't exactly the cutest girl in school. I was awkward with my thick glasses and braces. I have always been hair challenged and those years highlighted my lack of hair skill. It didn't help that I gave my hairdresser free reign over my hair and she tried some pretty crazy styles. Yes, I had a mullet. 


High school: The weight started packing on. I remember in 9th grade the first day of PE they weigh you in front of everyone. Who thought that was a good idea? I weighed 130 pounds. That was huge in comparison of all my 100 pound friends. Oh, to be that skinny again. I was a size 6. I wasn't involved in any sports. I was a drama girl...all the way, which means very little physical activity.  I had rehearsals most days after school. I would get a candy bar and a Mountain Dew for an after school snack almost every day. By the time I was a senior I weighed 180 pounds. 


Post high school: All my friends left for college. I stayed at home and went to the area community college. I was depressed. I ate. I watched the scale creep up. I swore I would kill myself if I ever got to 200 pounds but never did anything to stop the pounds adding up. 200. It was a monumental moment. I cried and probably ate a bunch of junk. Have you seen Austin Powers? Fat Bastard? When he says, " I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle." That was (is) me. I love to eat. I hate to exercise. 


Mid 20s: I moved out of my parents house when I was 24. It was amazing. I was still about 200 pounds. I fluctuated between 200 and 205. I started exercising. Eating less (mostly out of necessity. I couldn't afford to eat out all the time.) I would have a latte for breakfast, a cup of soup for lunch, and then a very light dinner at home. I was doing Tae Bo every day. I was so happy. I lost 35 pounds. I went from a size 16 to a size 10. People noticed. It felt good. I was dating. . I was a svelte 165.  Then I met Chad. We fell in love. Got married. Had a baby. I gained 35 pounds while pregnant. I was up to 200 again. I lost 10 pounds of my pregnancy weight. Madeline was 6 pounds of that weight. Chad and I started our own weight loss plan. It never lasted. 2 years later I was pregnant with Eli. I weighed about 210 when I gave birth. I lost about 10 pounds. Eli was 8 pounds. Ha. 


30s: I ballooned to 240 in 2009. I was working weird hours at the county hospital. My system was all screwed up. I wasn't exercising. I was eating crap. My blood pressure was elevated. We planned a Disney trip the summer of 2009 and I vowed that I was going to get in better shape for Florida. I had a treadmill that I walked on every day. I was eating healthier. I lost 35 pounds and felt great. My blood pressure was normal. Florida came and went. I stopped exercising. The treadmill was a dust collector. I sold it. 


Now: I weigh 235ish. I haven't stepped on a scale in a while. I don't exercise. I eat junk. I love sugar. I love fried foods. I love greasy food.  I love caffeine. I love everything that is bad for me. 

A new beginning...again...for the 326th time

I decided to start a new blog to be a personal diary of my 472nd quest for health and fitness.  I guess I got tired of saying something on my main blog and then end up ditching my efforts and feeling guilty about dragging my followers through my junk. I guess if you read this (and don't forget to follow) than you know what you are getting into, the ups and downs of my 683rd journey to a better me. So grab a Twinkie or a Ding Dong, pull up a chair, and enjoy the ride with me.