a fresh start

I am a slacker.

I am starting over starting April 1st, tomorrow.

A friend is doing it with me.

Chad asked, "Are you doing it for real this time?"

I wanted to punch him. Then I cried.

weigh in

I feel like the tortoise in the story of the tortoise and the hare. I totally admit that I am not taking this very seriously. I could be doing so much better. But I am okay with my progress for now. Will I reach my goal before our Florida vacation? Probably not. And I am okay with that.

Current weight: 220.8
Starting weight: 227.something (I can't remember and don't want to look it up.)
Mini-goal: 199

dieting sucks and I suck at it

I admit it...I am a self sabotager. It seems I do much better in "making healthier choices" when I do it quietly, with little fanfare. It is like I put this pressure on myself to perform well for other people when really I need to do this for myself. So when I don't talk about it a lot or don't over analyze things then I am pretty consistent with my healthier eating choices and exercise. When I talk about it all the time and think about it all day, that is when I cave and crumble and eat donuts, Girl Scout cookies, and maple nut ice cream and don't step on the elliptical for 2 weeks.

At the same time I need some sort of accountability. I love having cheerleaders. I love having Chad tell me he is proud of me for rockin' out on the elliptical. I want to quietly go about my business but I love when people tell me I am doing a good job. How do you accomplish that balance? I don't know.

I have been a total slacker for the last...oh...three weeks....like no dieting, no exercising...just living my life in this food induced fog. I feel like crap when I eat crap but that doesn't stop me from indulging in the garbage. I don't sleep very well. I feel guilty. I get mad at myself. I pig out to cover up those feelings. I am an addict. I am addicted to food.  Yay me.

weigh in

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

I need to kick it in high gear. I want to be at my mini-goal by the the time we get to Florida. I have about 2 months to get that done. No more slackin' off for rme.


Starting weight: 227.8
Current weight: 221.6
Mini-goal: 199

munchies

Why do I want to eat everything in sight when it is "that time of the month?" I have a major case of the M-U-N-C-H-I-E-S!!!